The Awesomely Hot Me~!

Today was freaking awesome! I was out walking the dogs when I found a good amount of money in some bushes! I'm not going to say how much, unless the person who lost it is looking for it. Kesesese~! It's too late anyway! I went home and dropped off the dogs and went to the store! I went on a shopping spree and ended up buying this awesome costume that I looked AWESOME in! It reminded me of something I used to wear a while ago. But I'm bringing this back into style! Kesesese~! I love being so awesome! So after I bought it I went to a photographer and had some awesome pictures taken! Did I ever tell any of you how freaking hot I am? Nein? Well, then... I'M SO AWESOMELY HOT!! Ja! Reality check, the world can't handle mein awesome hotness! Kesesese~! 

The Blankets

So! Funny story time! Last night I stayed awake until about 4am. Why did I do this? Because I'm awesome! Kesesese~! Anyway I fell asleep between 4 and 4:30 and it was wonderful. Unfortunately I woke up at 4:35 to a persistent knocking at mein door. Mein actual fist thought was this...

"Old man Fritz?"

Ja Prussia, Old Man Fritz is knocking at your bedroom door at 4:30 in the morning... Anyway, I hear West's voice and he said for me to let his dog into mein room because he was going to let the puppy out of the kennel and he didn't want them fighting again. Mein brain's response to this was...

"The blankets!! Ich brau sei!!!"

So I grab all the blankets on mein bed and thrash around for a bit, ripping them from the mattress. The lack of sleep took its affect on mein brain as I tried to stand and walk to the door. With only twenty minutes or so of sleep, I was having a hard time standing up straight. And instead of walking, I half stumbled, half fell across mein bedroom. I somehow managed to make it to the door still clutching mein blankets. I opened the door and the dog ran inside. I looked at mein bruder who looked a little shocked by me. I wan't naked this time! I was half standing, half being supported by mein door and was clinging to mein blankets like I was gonna die if I let them go. Fortunately he didn't seem to want anything else and turned away. I closed the door.

I turned to go back to mein bed and noticed that I had dropped mein blankets to mein feet at some point. I leaned over to pick them up and almost face planted into the floor! I tried again, useing the wall to brace meinself. I was a bit more successful this go round and managed to grab a couple of them. But I soon realized that I was going to need two hands as mein ability to function still lacked something to be desired.

I finally picked up all the blankets and looked back to mein bed. The trail of destruction I'd left in mein wake was quite wide. An overturned laundry basket, mein mattress askew, mein laptop cords (that had caught on mein foot when I got up initially) were thrown about, and that's when I realized something painfully obvious...

This would have been so much easier if I'd just left mein blankets on mein bed to begin with...

Reality check, you need more than twenty minutes of sleep to be able to function.

Dr. Beilschmidt You're Needed In Surgery!!

Today was awesome! Okay, okay! I was at the second dancing lesson when the dance instructor tripped over my foot and hurt her leg pretty bad. We had to take her to the hospital. Kesesese~! I was bored once we got there but they asked us to stay because she was going to need a ride home so we stayed. I was looking through some of the lame magazines when I realized that there were so many awesome things to be done in a hospital. So... mein friends and I borrowed some doctor uniforms that were sitting on a cart to go and explore the more interesting places that the doctors never let you see!

So we went to the x-ray room and good times were had! Kesesese~! We figured out how to work the machine-thing no problem and we all took pictures! I told Dr. Bonnefoy that he had to have his head examined so we took an x-ray of his head. He felt really weird afterwards. We were about to take a picture of Dr. Fernandez Carriedo's brain when a security guy came in...We were escorted from the hospital. But before we left we were told that it was really bad that we took so many pictures and that we should talk to a doctor about the consequences but that we weren't allowed to come back to this hospital. I don't see what the big deal was. So what if France started throwing up everywhere? That's not my problem! Reality check I make an awesome doctor! Kesesese~!

Dancing Genius!!

Hallo, hallo! I am awesome! AND I had an awesome day! So France actually talked me and Spain into taking dance lessons. And wouldn't you know I'm a natural! Kesesese~! Not much to tell about the class, it was boring. But the dance instructor picked me to be her partner because I was the most awesome dancer in the whole class. France and Spain were so jealous! Kesesese~! Reality check, you'll never be as awesome as me!

Not Cool Guys!! NOT COOL!!

Okay, I have to be honest... Even though I am freaking AWESOME!! Today was freaking STUPID! I woke up late and laid in bed until noon! I don't get to do that often, normally West comes pounding on mein door to tell me that I was wasting mein life away doing nothing and there are chores and blah, blah, blah. I was pretty hungover this morning so laying in bed felt nice and the house was quiet too! Well, until I heard someone snoring... I pulled off the covers to mein bed and saw France spooning Spain under mein covers and France had mein awesome boxers in his hands... Now I know why I've been waking up naked. I grabbed mein boxers and put them back on and yelled at them to get their f*cking gay a$$e$ out of mein bed! What were they doing in here to begin with! And what the hell happened last night!?!? I knew that Spain was hugging mein left leg, but I didn't realize that there were four or five different hickeys on mein leg until he picked up his head and looked at me!! THE HELL SPAIN?!? I guess Spain got it worse, France left marks all over Spain's neck and shoulders! Kesesese~! Serves him right for defiling mein awesome with his un-awesome man-mouth. *sigh* I don't remember how any of this happened but we're going to forget about this and never speak of it again. Reality check, if you ever wake up naked, it was France. (and in case anyone is curious. We are NOT gay!! Though I do question France on a regular basis. Kesesese~!)

So Totally Wasted!!! Kesese~!

Sooooooo~! I think I'm sobver enough to type nmow. Today weas awesome!! I was partyiing at the bar and it was pretty freakling awesome. I don't relly remember muych about what happened after the singing, buut I'm sure it wasn't anytghing too bad. I'll uipload the video West took of our awesome dancing cause I freaking rock. I lovbe you gfuys! You hguys are pretty aewsome, like me! I AM AWESOME!! Realiyu check, Egland doesnm't like to dace! Kesesese~! Too bad! Party hard or go home! F****ck.. mein head is staring to hurt.

Was ist da los?!

Today was awesome! and yet really, really weird! First thing this morning I woke up naked (I don't know why that keeps happening), then West's dog, the one with the already broken leg, fell down the stairs AND THIS TIME IT REALLY WASN'T ME!!! After that, the toilet overflowed for no reason. I didn't try and flush anything down there this time, I swear! Kesesese~! So right after I got out of the shower I was checking out mein awesome muscles in the mirror when the light bulb in the bathroom went out! I tried to find a towel, but there weren't any in the cabinet, so I figured it'd be okay to walk down the hall to mein room in all mein awesome glory. But when I turned the corner to go to mein room, I ran into West who was talking to Italy and Japan in the middle of the damn hallway! You know, I hear that Japan takes baths with other people, so I don't see why he got so embarrassed by mein five meters. I mean, it's not like he's never seen one before! Kesesese~! He was probably just surprised by how BIG and AWESOME it was! I can be very intimidating. Anyway, West threw me into mein room and I got dressed only to go down stairs and open the fridge to find out that we were out of beer! Beer!! of all the things to be out of, why did it have to be the BEER?!?! Oh, and the fridge had gotten unplugged somehow and everything inside had gone bad. It smelled horrible. So I closed the door of the fridge before the smell reached West and I grabbed mein keys and mein coat and I left. There was no way I was going to help with that mess. So I called up mein friends and we partied all day. Reality check, the world can't handle mein AWESOME! (And neither can Japan! Kesesese~!)